Key events
Time for an email. “I began watching the PL a decade or 2 ago,” says Mary Waltz, “and was mentored by a Bit expat who was a massive MU fan. They would sign Pogba-style players and I would say surely a title is coming. He would grimace and say ‘No. Our midfield sucks.’ He still is singing the same song.”
Half-time! Fulham 0-0 Man United
As nil-nils go, it’s been entertaining. United bossed it for the first 15 minutes but since then it’s been mostly Fulham, controlling the midfield and winning one corner after another. Fernandes’ awful penalty sums up United’s season so far: they just can’t find the net.
45+2 min United’s turn for a set piece. Fernandes lobs it in but can’t find a red shirt. He has had a half to forget.
45+1 min The corner unsettles Altay, again, and Fulham have a couple more shots to add to their collection. They now lead that table by 8-6.
45 min There will be two more minutes, when there should be at least five.
43 min Fulham win a free kick on their right wing. Lukic sends it sideways to Muniz, whose bicycle kick would be spectacular if he actually connected with it.
43 min Fernandes, on the ball, is so busy waving his arms to give directions to the United forwards that he allows his pocket to be picked. Amorim may have to do the unthinkable, some time in the second half, and take him off.
40 min Suddenly it’s all happening again. United pile forward and Casemiro gets a yellow card, for reasons that are not clear. Then Fulham barrel into the box and Sessegnon forces Altay to punch the ball behind. At the corner, Altay looks as feeble as he did against Arsenal.
39 min That was a shocker. Ruben Amorim couldn’t bear to watch:it was almost as if he’d seen it coming. It was so unlike Fernandes, who abandoned his hop, skip and cool pass into the corner.
Fernandes misses the penalty!
Bruno Fernandes goes high, wide and ugly!
Penalty to United!
The ref takes his time… and gives a pen.
34 min United can’t do anything with the resulting corner, though the VAR is looking at a potential foul by Bassey, who bundled Mount to the ground… and the ref is sent to the monitor!
33 min Better from United as Mount sends Fernandes into the box. His cross is well blocked by Bassey.
32 min No sooner have I said that than Lukic plays a simple pass straight out of play.
30 min The game is one-third over and Fulham are now looking the more comfortable of the two sides, with their midfield in control, although United have been dangerous on the break.
29 min Shaw and Dorgu get in each other’s way near the half-way line. Amorim’s ploy of playing two left-backs and two right-wingers has not been a roaring success so far.
28 min For his next trick Fernandes tries a big switch to Dorgu, which sails out, much to the delight of the home fans.
27 min Amad, found in acres by Fernandes, makes the universal sign for “calm down, guys” and plays the ball back to Yoro. Not sure what that’s about.
25 min Still, several of these Fulham players have been a thorn in United’s side – Tete, Andersen, Bassey – and one of them is Iwobi, who is beginning to assert himself in the spaces left behind Casemiro.
23 min The game goes quiet for the first time, as Sky put up a caption showing what has happened on United’s last eight visits to the Cottage: they’ve won the lot, as their fans like to say, with a goal difference of 18-3. This may not be a guide to what is about to happen here.
20 min United clear the corner easily enough without getting out of their half. A lovely little pass by Mason Mount to Dorgu in the centre circle goes to waste as the ref declines to play the advantage.
19 min Altay is tested again as Shaw sends him a back pass with a strong whiff of hospital about it. He can only kick into touch, and soon Fulham have another corner.
18 min That brought another corner, and Dorgu did well to see off the danger at the far post. This game is suddenly very even.
16 min Save! Altay again, doing well to see Iwobi’s shot through a forest of legs, let alone turn it round the post.
15 min Sessegnon, who has been Fulham’s star so far, bursts into the box. Amad tracks him well enough but concedes a corrner…
14 min Even better save! By Leno. Bayindir goes straight down the middle to Cunha, whose first touch is a beauty, his second, with his left foot, a bit ltoo close to Leno.
10 min Save! Bayindir does well, closing down Josh King after a neat through ball from Sessegnon.
10 min United’s latest long shot is from Bruno Fernandes, nothing for Leno to worry about. After taking 22 shots against Arsenal, they’ve already had four here. And still no goal.
9 min Amad feeds Mbeumo down the United right. Last weekend, when Amad came on to replace Dalot, they showed some rapport, but then got in each other’s way.
7 min Fulham make it into United’s half without getting near Altay Bayindir. There’s a lull as Bassey got a poke in the eye from Mbeumo, not deliberate. Bassey has to go off for 30 seconds as it’s technically a head injury. “It’s a nonsense, this rule,” says Gary Neville, who knows the difference between the letter and the spirit of the law.
6 min Fulham finally string together some passes, albeit at the back. Sessegnon, by the way, is at left-back not right-wing, as suggested by some idiot on this page.
5 min De Ligt goes long to Dorgu, who can’t keep his cross in play. If his crossing ever matches his running, he’ll be a good player.
4 min Such a strong start from United. I am not used to writing that.
3 min Cunha hits the post! Some quick short balls, a nice lay-off from Mount, and Cunha almost passes it into the corner.
2 min United get the ball but don’t get it under control, as Shaw’s hoof ends up in the hands of Leno… but then United win the ball back with their new-found press and Cunha tries a screamer, just over.
1 min Fulham kick off and go long down the left. Alex Iwobi tries a cross that goes wrong.
The teams are out there. Fulham are in all white, like a Poundland Real Madrid; United in red shirts and black shorts, always the classiest of their change strips.
On the same subject … “So,” says Roger Kirkby, “with most teams now having played two games, only two have won both and only two have lost ’em. If the season carries on in the same manner, we are in for a treat of a season.”
What’s at stake (realistically). Man United are 18th in the table with nul points, so they can either stay there if they lose today, go 16th or 17th if they draw, or leap to somewhere between fifth and ninth with a win. Fulham, currently 14th, can slip a place or two if they lose, stay 14th if they draw, or soar to fifth with a win. All to play for!
Now, the view from Fulham. “I ought to be full of optimism,” says Richard Hirst. “The first home game of a new season, shiny new grass, shiny new kit, shiny new players (ah, OK, better scrub that one).” Ha. “But it’s Man Utd and, like The Great Escape, we’ve all seen this movie too many times and know the ending; spoiler alert, United win 1-0 with a deflected goal in the third minute of stoppage time. But what’s life for if you can’t dream, so COYW.”
An email! “You made a good point in your thoughts* about United’s defeat last week, Tim,” says Karen Asad, generously. “I honestly can’t fathom how Amorim can’t find a place for Mainoo. He is young and has already proven top-class. Isn’t it the coach’s job to teach players how to play in his system? Like what Liverpool did with Gravenberch last season. Top coaches do it all the time; it’s part of the job.
“Casemiro & Fernandes? Really? Nobody serious thinks United will go places with that midfield.
“If Amorim doesn’t work out, United are in deep deep trouble after investing so much for his system.”
With you on the elderly midfield, not so sure about the investment – Cunha and Mbeumo are good enough to slot into the 4-2-3-1 that the next manager will surely bring in, Sesko is promising, and only Dorgu would be a square peg. A bigger worry would be who on earth would go on the left wing, which has borne the brunt of Amorim’s purge.
*The piece was my attempt to make sense of the performance against Arsenal, which appeared in United Writing, the Substack newsletter I founded with Rob Smyth.
And in Everton’s spanking new stadium … a resounding home win! “Grealish,” says Tom Bassam, “was outstanding.”
Meanwhile, in South London … Palace and Forest have re-enacted their result from May. Scott Murray has the details.
Teams in full
Fulham (4-2-3-1) Leno; Tete, Andersen, Bassey, Castagne; Lukic, Berge; Sessegnon, King, Iwobi; Muniz.
Subs: Lecomte, Cuenca, Robinson, Reed, Cairney, Traore, Wilson, Smith Rowe, Jimenez.
Man United (3-4-3) Altay; Yoro, De Ligt, Shaw; Amad, Casemiro, Fernandes, Dorgu; Mbeumo, Cunha, Mount.
Subs: Onana, Fredericson, Maguire, Heaven, Dalot, Ugarte, Mainoo, Mount, Zirkzee, Sesko.
Teams in brief: three changes for Fulham
Marco Silva is more proactive, even though Fulham’s first result was a decent one (1-1 at Brighton). Rodrigo Muniz, who secured that point with a last-ditch equaliser after coming on as a sub, dislodges Raul Jimenez. Ryan Sessegnon replaces Harry Wilson on the right wing, and at the back Jorge Cuenca gives way to Timothy Castagne. The exciting Josh King, only 18, continues to edge out Emile Smith Rowe as the No 10.
Andreas Pereira is left out of the squad, as is Rasmus Højlund (again) for United, and possibly for the same reason – they seem to be on their way out.
Teams in brief: Amorim digs in his heels
Ruben Amorim makes only one change to United’s starting XI, replacing his right wing-back, Diogo Dalot, with the more attacking Amad. That means two surprises: Benjamin Sesko has to wait a bit longer for his first start, as Amorim persists with a false nine (probably Matheus Cunha); and Altay Bayindir is retained in goal after his expensive howler against Arsenal, even though André Onana has had another week to regain full fitness.
Preamble
Afternoon everyone and welcome to a game that ought to be a mismatch. A club that has spent £200m this summer is paying a visit to a club that has spent £500,000. And yet, on paper, it’s too close to call.
Fulham have continuity on their side. Marco Silva, who took over as their manager in summer 2021, is now the third longest-serving manager in the Premier League. (Pep Guardiola and Mikel Arteta are the only PL bosses to survive from the BC era – before Covid.)
Manchester United are more about chaos. A swathe of redundancies, a number of players banned from squad training, a whole new forward line, a whole new team of chief this and chief that, and a manager who has yet to prove himself in English football. Still, Ruben Amorim has discovered the secret that has eluded everyone else: how to stay in a top job while losing left, right and centre.
“We are playing a great side,” Silva said on Friday. Is he sure about that? Amorim’s United, well though they played in losing to Arsenal last Sunday, have been comically bad at coping with mid-table teams. In 14 league games last season against clubs that finished between 7th and 17th, they won two, drew two and lost ten, making a grand total of eight points out of 42.
To be fair, one of the wins did come at Craven Cottage – a jammy 1-0 conjured up by the persistence of Lisandro Martinez and a friendly deflection. Fulham soon took their revenge by going to Old Trafford in the FA Cup and winning on penalties.
Opta’s prediction machine gives Fulham a 30pc chance of winning today, United 44. The prediction pundits see it as closer than that: Chris Sutton and Paul Merson have both gone for a 1-1 draw, while Harry Redknapp says 2-1 to United.
Kick-off is at 4.30pm (BST) and I’ll be back soon with the teams.
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